First Deceptions (A Collection of Old Sad Demo Recordings)

by lotusflowerdeathstar

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Compilation of Vajman Petter's old recordings


released May 27, 2014



all rights reserved


lotusflowerdeathstar Sao Paulo, Brazil

Official soundtracker for sad gloomy thoughts

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Track Name: For a Constellation
Autumn came
Gave me reason to fall like a leaf
Winter says It’s time to get up again
But I am so tired
It’s so cold outside
I think I’ll just leave things as they are
You know me
Every second I’m willing to ache
You love me
Understand all my reasons to hate
But I don´t want to live in this place
And I know you don’t want it either
And my love for you grows and grows
But proportionately fades my will to live
It’s so tiring to live in this world
I would love to take you for a ride
It’s a pleasure to take your hand
Gods, I’d die for a proper life
How I wish I was by your side
All the time
Think I might - when it’s night – to fly away
Track Name: Meine Liebe (for Martina)
It’s a grey rainy day and I…
Just dunno what to think
I run the feelings in my head and in my heart that’s just exploding and I…
Dream of softest lips
They happen to be yours
And it’s strange to share it with you
Because I just can’t feel anything
But my feelings for you
My dear, there’s a promised land out waiting for you and me
Just kiss me and it will be like the first time
Like the first time
Pure paradise
You just make me feel alive
You just make me wanna be alive
You make me wanna be alive
And thats the only wrong thing about you
Track Name: Alice Never Reachin' The Rabbit
Hateful days
Views from the stairway
Friends and friends and all your friends
Smiles and lies
And many colors
Your hair color swimming into mine
Light the room, I hide my face
Deathrow, Heads roll, I’m okay
You said it ‘cause you liked me
Or you said it ‘cause I liked you
I’m not sure that you did like me
Did I? Certainly

Follow the red rabbit home
In a rainy day
Follow you wherever you’ve gone
Right after our happy accident
In wonderland

And I don’t know why
You made me so blue
Why people come and go
Where are you?
Am I that boy
Fragile and sick
Listening to stories
Being put to sleep?
Am I never

Reachin’ the rabbit
Changing my habits
Leaving the tragic behind me
And living for now

Will I stop dreaming
And start making happen?
Will I believe in those tales forever?
Why were you there? Where are you now?
Will you know what this song is about?
Will you be there?
In wonderland
Track Name: Letter to Mandy
No way out
I'll always think of you as someone I loved
No way out
I'll always think of you as someone I left behind
And this wind brings memories and chills
Track Name: Sadcore Ruined My Life (The History Of My First Deceptions)
Hello my dear, my only rhyme for fear
I want to write a melancholic song for you
But I don't know how
Track Name: The Freak's Club
My work's down the drain
a thousand bodies to hide
all my friends are dead
and if you ask, I don't mind
We're all a damn shame
I choke in nail polish
You hide your face
there is no glory

We're all

In the freak's club
Where we have no shame
In the freakclub
We can hide our faces
In the freak's club
We're all the same
and we deserve to die
Track Name: Virtual Daterape
The wind touches me
I'm going to nowhere
The wind pushes me away
From you
Tearing apart
Don't fear
Fault's mine
In the hole
She's right there
Waiting for our last kiss - She doesn't know yet
Didn't wrote this song for you, my dear
I'm a creep and a liar
Waste of flesh, writing songs
Can you say that you love me again, dearest dear?
I'm drowning in waste of time
I'm lying like you laid in my eyes
I'm your boy, your electronic toy
Your computer will tell you a lie
I live in a fake happy world
I'm living with fake plastic words - but not for so long
I love when you smile, loved girl
I live in a fake happy world
I'm living with fake plastic words
I love when you smile, loved girl
I live in a fake plastic world
Track Name: Japanese Pornography (or "How To Lose Shit")
You went to party again
from here the death doesn't sound so loud
Your life is tearing mine apart
You're not so pretty fucking
You're not so pretty fucking
There's nothing wrong with all those bruises
There's no one here to tell the lie
There's nothing pure or evil
There's nothing here I can call mine

You look so pretty
You seem so nice
Another city
The bloody town

The melodies are fading
Boiling the blisters on your japanese skin
Tentacles, feelings, bruises (bruises, bruises, bruises, bruises)
Depressive party music
You're not so pretty fucking


I'm not the only guy who thought that would be easy
The overload just made you blow your mind
Another kind of load
The dead disturbed road
Your favorite songs are dead and mine