ghosts and their sheets

by lotusflowerdeathstar

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a dirty, homemade, lo-fi record on depression, post-high school crisis and stuff from the past haunting us forever

i wasn't gonna release this 'cause it's a mess


released July 15, 2016

all songs written and performed by Vajman Petter
produced by Vajman Petter

special thanks to all the people who broke my heart // to this fucking room i live in that allows my recording to be as noisy and dirty as they can be // to everyone who listens and who cares enough to make me give up on giving up this project.

cover art by Luisa Andrade the infamous smart grape
boo hoo




lotusflowerdeathstar Sao Paulo, Brazil

Official soundtracker for sad gloomy thoughts

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Track Name: sad incomes spent on parties we end up hating
wake up
we're going to party
our sad incomes
spent in some party
i dress up
for the date to come
i want you in my life

get off
i don't want to farm it
get off
it's going to die here
i dressed you off
long ways i come
i want to change my life

I blame her ghost on my bed sheets
I cry
I'd die up here

Stay up
Our ghost is clearing
Stood up
My boy is leaving
I stood awake
Now it's too late
I need to end my life
Track Name: i have my ways to satisfy my disgusting sexual desires on sunday mornings
Sunny day
I was sexting with the devil

Sunny babe
I was okay

Hateful day
I was sexting with the devil

Quite the same
Excruciating pain

and I was okay
Track Name: arrowheadsarrowheadsarrowheads (a brand new kind of ghost)
I'd drive
his car to
wherever my skin doesn't burn
in my room
Miles away from home

When I feel thirsty
When I feel hungry
You could feed me with your love
I wanna feel something
Wherever my heart is
It has stopped pumpin' blood
It'll never feel like home

God's out
For the miracle sleep you've been talking about
I better find a casket for my all my art
I heard the revolution is gonna start
and I'm a better person when none of my thoughts are alive

You better work it
Before I fuck it up
I'm gonna be the greatest corpse on earth
It's never working
It's never worth the time
I am here and I'm never gonna die
and that's my greatest fear coming alive

Home is where our bodies crash
Is where my heart is red
I'm blue
and your dark skin comes alive
Track Name: dd/lg
i found you dead by the bed
i have slept last week with your girlfriend
i wish she was a friend
more than your girl

i hope she never call me daddy again
i hope she never call me daddy again
i hope she doesn't swallow my cum again
i wanna taste it as bad as she does
is a twisted fucked up world
when i see you as a friend
Track Name: boys like you are the reason i gave up going out for less than drunken destructive satanic orgies
this is a song about our body residues
this ain't a song about our love
this is a song about the things we've really shared
this is a song about our deaths

blood, cum, sweat and puke
I'd do anything for you
inside of you for one last ride
I'd be safe tonight
if i tell you i love you

come inside, my little boy in doom
purple flower bleeding like our youth
i'll masturbate whenever i feel blue
we'll talk about home when i'm not about to puke

bleeding, jizzed, sweaty youth
one last night, one last you
inside of me for one last ride
you're not safe tonight
not matter how much you love me
Track Name: i remember crying so much when you changed your hair from green to grey 'cause i knew you were gone
The city hides a secret
And the buildings are just keeping
We're having a great time
It's nice
It's making me feel ill

I'll share mine with you, no problem
Nothing I can do about it
There will be no time for us
To fuck us up for real

trees are watching us
I'm watching you
as your hair merges with the leaves
i don't want you to leave
I don't want you to leave

But you have to
and that's sad
Let's leave the garden
leave our heads
They should write this on our gravestones when we're dead

(You still shine
Our hair dyes
We were fine
Greatest lies)

"I wish i was a ghost
to creep you at night
to whisper in your ears
my love - lacking life
to take you in your sleep
to keep you in my sight
I know you love him